Category Archives: Life

Breaking up is hard enough.

In the middle of a crowded mall, is where he broke up with me. It was there he told me that he just didn’t have the time for us anymore. No, I’m not talking about my boyfriend breaking up with me, I’m talking about something much more serious. My DM broke up with our group. And oddly enough, I felt as if  I was going through an actual break up.

Our little Dungeons and Dragons group has gone through a lot. We’ve had members leave, and join. We had one member get shipped off to Afganistan, and we even had a character die. I feel much like, many relationships, this one just didn’t get to see the end reward.

Am I mad? No, not really. Am I sad? Of course.  Countless hours of my Friday nights spent around the table, rolling my dice are gone. But, in the end it is the memories that carry on, and that’s what gets me through. I wanted to learn to play, and I did. Am I a wonderful player, no not really. But I’m okay with that, because I had fun doing it.

So now that my Friday nights are free … is there anyone out there who needs a date?

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Life is nothing but words.

So someone *cough*Drea*cough* pushed me to do NaNoWriMo.  So during the month of November there will hopefully be a lot of updates coming from me. I’m planning on keeping most of my drafts and stuff here. I’m nervous, because I’m horrible with deadlines, but I’m sure I’ll do fine. Right now I’m waiting for 12:00:01 to hit so I can get started while I’ve got all these ideas fresh in my head. It’ll be done in blog format from the POV of a girl named Mackenzie, Mac, for short. She’s kinda geeky, kinda spunky and desperately searching for love. I figure why not draw from not only my own experiences but those of my friends as well? We will have to see what happens.

Things in WoW have been going pretty awesome. My guild is seriously a great group. They’d pretty much give you the shirt off their backs if you really needed it. We’re now working on some of the hardmodes and achievements in ICC. I know that some of them want to give up, but I’m not going to let them. Mainly because I want my damn mount. Haha.

My Bucket List is much smaller now:

  • Finish Loremaster [Kalimdor, Outlands & Northrend]
  • Buy Chopper & Tundra Mammoth [Need tons more gold]
  • Finish The Insane [Finally out of hated with the Goblins, just need to finish everything else]
  • Finish old world reps [Argent Dawn/Cenarion Circle/ZG]
  • Farm for Barron’s mount & the ZG mounts
  • Clean out Tarr’s bank & the Muffin guild bank
  • Do Operation Gnomergon on Ardain
  • Do the Horde equivalent
  • Kill the Lich King
  • Find a group to finish Ulduar
  • Naxx 10 Man Undying or w/e it is
  • Wintersaber Rep [only 169 more turn ins. I CAN DOOO EEET]
  • They Love Me in that Tunnel [Only Neutral, need to grind moar]
  • The Diplomat [This one I can do as well.]

Looks good to me 🙂 Haha, I’m super proud of myself. I’ve got a ton of stuff done, just need to start busting hump. I can do it! Hoorah!

Until later guys, keep writing and playing 😉

xoxo
jess

Dear Jessica;

A letter to my 16 year old self.

Dear Jessica – or rather Jessicka/Jesska/Jes(sic)a however you’re spelling it right now –

You’ve turned 24, and things are changing but for the better. There are still some things you need to know, or rather be reminded of.

  • You are loved – more than you know. Don’t let yourself believe that you aren’t.  You’re life is worth living. You’re worth loving. Don’t listen to what those other people say. They wouldn’t know a good person if it bit them on the ass.
  • It’s okay to be yourself – stop pretending that you’re into things you aren’t. Stop doing things that make you uncomfortable. Start being honest, the people that are supposed to be in your life will still love you for it.
  • Some friends become your family – Julie is going to become one of the best friends you’ve ever had. Brad is your soulmate (stop laughing!) don’t spend so much time not talking to him.  Jaci is more important to you than you realize, don’t let other people break you apart. Be honest with her, she’ll appreciate it and still love you.
  • Good Charlotte – will always be your favorite band. And will introduce you to some amazing people. Spend more time with Jordan and rock out with her. Also, when Cathie gives you Billy Bear senior year, hug her harder and tell her thank you again.
  • CASA/Snowball/De-fy-it – Will save your life more than once. Stay active. Also keep in touch with Cathie. You’ll miss her as you grow up and older.
  • Get your license – Don’t wait until you’re in your 20’s get it sooner.
  • Crushes – Crushes are called crushes because they’re supposed to hurt. Don’t fret, you’ll move on and when you see the guys you crushed on 8 years in the future, you’ll laugh. A LOT.
  • It’s okay to not know who you are – Keep changing the spelling of your name. Eventually you’ll drop the last 3 letters anyway and stick with Jess.
  • Take more pictures – You’ll want to remember these times.  Don’t worry about how ‘fat you are’ or how ‘stupid you’ll look’ because you’ll just regret not having the memories later.

Most of all Jessica, remember to be happy. Keep your hope alive, and keep holding on. Things will get better. Things will get so much better. I promise.

Love 24 year old,
Jess

—-

This letter was written along with a bunch of other people who will be posting the same thing today. I found out about the “Letter to your 16 y/o self” from the front page of wordpress who linked me to Cakes, Teas and Dreams. Let me know if you decide to write a letter to your 16 year old self. I’d love to read it.

I made this bed

This song has never fit my life more than it does at this moment.

Well maybe I’m just scared
To face the things I feel
It’s easier to walk away from everything
If we could just reset
And live in happiness
Instead of our regrets
We’d salvage everything
We don’t have to walk away

Pray for me now
I’m in need of faith
Pray for me now
I’m in need

Game, Set, Match

I’m unhappy with the way my life has been going. Well, unhappy isn’t the right word. Try really fucking miserable. I don’t know why, or how to change it. But I have to do something or else this feeling of apathy is going to over take me and ruin my life.

So in my effort to get my spending, my eating and well … my life under control. I’m cracking down on myself. I’m going to make myself a game plan and stick too it. I know that for the first 3 weeks it will be hard, but after that it should get easier. Well … hopefully.

Documenting everything, making sure I make wise decisions and just for lack of a better word, faking it until I make it. I’m betting it will help me, and if not then I’ll try something else. I KNOW I’m not happy, so why not try to fix it. The first step to fixing any problem, is realizing that hey you have a problem. And my dear, I’ve got a big one.

I know everyone is deathly interested in what my plan is. Let me tell you, that in my infinte need for orginzation (seriously I’m the girl who made a color coded spread sheet for gear upgrades for WoW when my main first hit 80) it involves, post it notes, color coded spread sheets and a planner. It’s kind of a 3 phase thing.

Phase 1 (which is seriously going to be the hardest phase):
[MONEY] Watch what I spend, and document where all money goes (Color coded spread sheet comes in here – Green for money gained, Red for money lost, Purple for the total)
[EATING] Get food on pay day to make lunches for the next 2 weeks. Eat out only 1 time a week (Wed).
[LIFE] Gym time at least 2 times a week. Tuesday & Thursday. Walk on the treadmill for at least 30 minutes. Document sleep schedule and try to fix it.

I’m not sure what the other 2 phases will entail. Other than pushing up the time I spend at the gym, and cracking down even farther on my money.

Things will work out. I have to have faith that they will, or else everything will be ruined and I’ll be unhappy for-ev-er.

Quest Accepted: Find a new MMORPG

I love World of Warcraft, holy hell do I love it. Because of WoW I’ve met so many people that I would not have otherwise met. I’ve met people who have inspired me, who I’ve fallen head over heals for, who’ve hurt me, and some who’ve become my best friends. And yet, WoW is starting to not bore me, but instead starting to bore everyone around me. I don’t want to find more friends, I like the group of friends I have. I don’t want to once again meet more people, and try to fit in. I’m actually happy where I am.

So instead, I’m looking for another MMORPG, one that the people in my life will try as well. They have started playing a DotA like game, League of Legends, but for some reason my computer refuses to run it. I get about 102 fps, and then suddenly … poof. GONE. Down to 2 fps, and those hopes I had of moving … GONE, like the wind.

So I’ve been trolling Onrpg.com, looking for something that will entertain me. Something that won’t cost a whole helluva lot of money, because as soon as I get my wisdom teeth out I’ll have none.

So far I’ve downloaded and am trying:
Flyff
Fiesta Online
Soul Master

While, I doubt that any of these will diminish my love for WoW, I’m hoping that they prove to be an exciting distraction from it. At least something that I can spend time playing when life in Azeroth gets to be as stressful as my life out here in the real world.

Until Later,
jess

I am now officially two dozen.

Happy 24th birthday to me.

Oh so busy!

This weekend has been mad crazy. Really no time to play any WoW or even play the beta. Just busy busy busy. I did enter the Spectral Safari that I was talking about last update. It was a lot of fun and I learned A LOT about card play and attitude and such. Past Times was a great place, I’ve never been in a place like that before so it was cool to be there and just look around. There were 30 people, it was … really crowded. Especially because there were 2 other card game things going on. Some Magic thing and then Yu-Gi-Oh. Neither of which I play, or think I’m going to play.

Anyway, paid my 20$ entry fee and ended up with a red mage deck. I was excited because I had watched Ben play a mage deck before, so I figured that I could at least mimic some of his moves. The first couple of rounds I did so horrible. The third round was closer, and I won the fourth round. I was so proud of myself! I had actually beat someone. The win really boosted my confidence in myself, so for round five and six, I also managed to win. I went into round seven confident. But got my ass handed to me. I learned so much and met some new people. Which for me was a big thing. I was super proud of myself for that. I’m also proud of myself for placing 22nd out of 30. Not nearly as good as I could have done, but for my first time I’ll take it.

I was going to buy another class starter deck, but didn’t because they didn’t have the one I wanted. I’ll have to check the card place around here and see if they have one next week. I also found out that they’re going to be doing battlegrounds after GenCon at Past Times on Sundays. So I think I’ll make it a goal to hit at least 2 a month. Just to get better. I want to take this kinda seriously, but it’s kinda expensive to start. This class starter really helped though. Because it gave me a good boost of cards and I’ll be able to make legal decks by using them.

Switching gears from the card game to the beta. I’m going to start running new classes/race combos up to level 10, and documenting it. I’ll also work on leveling Tarr and just looking for bugs. It’ll give me some focus, and something to kind of look forward too.

My birthday is in 3 days. I’m going to be 24. Someone should buy me a spectral tiger ;P Since I didn’t win it today at the Safari.

You know that I’ll miss you.

Things change, and that’s part of life. But it doesn’t make things any easier. It’s like … you get used to how things are and then things change. It’s up to the person to either accept it or to not deal with it. My normal routine is to just play ostrich and pretend that things are okay and not changing. But that always comes back to bite me in the ass later on. I’ve been working on it though, it’s not always easy, but at least I’m making the effort. I’m making an effort in a lot of areas in my life. That’s part of the reason as to why I started writing in this.

So while the beta was downloading last night, I was playing around on Steam and downloaded the demo for Torchlight, that shit is so fun. OMFG I want it. I need to save money though so it’s gonna have to wait a couple of weeks. That’s okay though, the things I’m saving for are a little bit more important than a video game.

Talked to a friend of mine today from a long time ago. Him and I have gone through our ups and downs. We were hella close for like 2 years, had a falling out and then got really close again. When we weren’t talking it was like a part of me was missing. It hurt so fucking bad, I’m glad that we fixed it. He recently just welcomed a new addition into his little family, and I’m so happy for him. I know he’ll be an amazing father. I’m currently saving up to head out and visit him for a couple of days. It’ll be good times.

I wish that it was easy with all my friends as it was with him. It would make my life so much easier. Maybe I’m over reacting or something, I don’t feel like I am though. I just … IDK. It’s whatever.

I got some screenies from the beta. Nothing much just shit that looked important to me. So I’ll toss them in at the end of this post and then move myself off to bed.

DUN DUN DUN!

How much XP you’ll need to level from 80 to 81

The new character tab

The new profession tab. I love the way this looks. It looks so freaking awesome.

The new spell book feature. It seriously now tells you what level you get spells and shit at. And like when you ding you get this big annoying flash across your screen that says something like “You’ve reached LEVEL XX” and then when you’ve got a skill that’s ready to be learned it once again flashes across your screen and tells you that you can go learn it. So weird.

The first couple of quest rewards I came across, looks like it might be the whole regular WoW to BC thing again where we’re replacing gear right off the bat.

The map for Mt Hyjal

Then it was time for me to head to Stormwind!

Flying over it. Look at all those rooftops ;P
There is actually water in the fountain now!

The AH looks like an actual auction house. All of the graphics look so much cleaner now and just … amazing.

The front gates, I kind of got teary over this.

The park, it was seeing this that I just lost it. I can’t believe I actually started to cry. It was like seeing my house in shambles or something.

The vine fields outside of Northsire Abby. The Defias guys there turned into Black Rock Orcs.

YAY! Dailys in SW & they offer skill points. Hello easy leveling of shitty professions (Yes fishing I’m looking at you!)

By now I was tired of seeing all the destruction so I decided to play around with a Worgen. Currently female Worgen cannot be created. So I went ahead and rolled a quick male Worgen hunter. It’s so weird seeing level 1 hunters with pets right off. But Worgens get English Bulldogs for their pets so I had to create one! That’s just so awesome. Plus since my alt is a hunter, I was curious as to how the energy thing was going to work out. It wasn’t too bad, but at low level oh holy hell I was seriously blowing shit away.

Character creation screen (yes Fredrico is his name haha)

What he looked like in game, no where near as handsome as before 😡

The whole area was so adlfjaldsj AMAZING looking. The details were awesome, and just looked so realistic. I felt the same way with WotLK but this is like times 1 billion or something. I didn’t get much more than those screen shots though. I did try to learn archeology , but couldn’t learn it yet. I’m not sure if I went to the wrong spot or what not. However, the trainer is Harrison Jones and he gives a speech very similar to one of the ones Indiana Jones gives in the movies. I laughed for like 10 minutes straight. And then once he calls his class, one of the students blows him a kiss. Which just creeped me out a little bit.

Anyway, more beta funsies later. I’m going to go finish the book I’m reading and get some sleep.

Until later,
jess